Saturday, April 2, 2011

Waiter Nightmares

It's a syndrome.  Waitrons often have nightmares .. their stations expand, they can't find their checkbook, they are totally lost, their food orders never come out of the kitchen. A waitress in Provincetown once told me a funny story ... not about a nightmare, but a day-mare: "I was waiting tables at the Post Office Cafe.  It was the Fourth of July weekend.  I was a horrible waitress .. just never got the hang of it. Before every shift I got so nervous, butterflies in my stomach, and would feel like I was going to throw up.  Going to work felt like stepping into a nightmare which I had to face and live through. On the 4th I was so afraid of going to work that M.B. [a well-known hostess at another restaurant] handed me a pill and said, 'Here .. take this .. it'll help you get through the day.'  It was a blue valium. I popped it, took a sip of my coffee, and set off for work. A half-hour later I was wandering up and down amongst the tables, my arms full of plates of eggs, crying, asking people if any of this belonged to them!"

I haven't waited tables for something like 25 years but I still will have a waiter nightmare about once a year.


  1. daymare...a word not heard used all that often

    "Reports like these give me a deep and sickening feeling, somewhere between a daymare and deja vu."
    Margaret McCartney; A Swiss Cheese Method to Eliminate Fatal Errors; Financial Times (London, UK); Feb 18, 2006.

    My nightmares all came during childhood! Shoes turning into blocks made of concrete..yikes...

    Can only imagine how I'd be with a blue valium :-)...

    oh the mares!!!

    2 April 1914 Paul Johann Ludwig Heyse

    Nobel Prize for Literature in 1910

  2. (aka ... Sharon)

    Sorry (not really) to be laughing as hard as I am at your friends "daymare" ...

    That would have been me ... without the help of the little blue magic pill.

    I needed that "belly laugh" ... thank you.